Frustration, Comedy, and Water Appliances, Part 1

24 Mar, 2026

This is Part 1 of the comedy of errors surrounding my utility closet.
Part 2 | Part 3

Much of my easygoing nature comes down to a single trait: I can laugh at a frustrating situation without waiting to "look back on it."

This trait has only failed me once in my adult life.

It was February 2021, and we had closed on our current house. We had three days to clean both houses and move. There had been a few minor annoyances¹², but we were getting stuff done.

Someone (either my wife or my mom) opened the pantry to sweep. They found a few pieces of mouse poop, and swept them up. Then they found more. And more. An insane amount of mouse poop had piled up behind the water softener. Then we looked inside the water softener tank. It contained what I can only describe as a comical amount of mouse poop. Easily a gallon or more. Naturally, my wife was very unhappy with this. A poopy pantry was bad enough, but now our water supply was affected.

But then it got worse:

The house's shutoff valves had a bypass for the water softener. I figured I'd just turn it off and deal with it later. But then I discovered that the plumbing was wrong, and every possible path had to go (and worse: had gone) through the poopy water softener.

But Then It Got Worse:

The next day, my father-in-law and I ran to the hardware store for some copper pipe elbows we could sweat on as a hard bypass. But no matter how many faucets we opened³, we couldn't get the water level low enough that the solder would actually melt.

(This was when my "Laugh Without Looking Back" trait failed. Non-poopy water is a fundamental human need, and I couldn't even manage to provide that for my wife and sons)

We ultimately achieved our desired bypass by heading back to the hardware store and overspending on some sharkbite fittings that did the trick.

But Then It Got Worse:

My father-in-law and I carried the water softener out through the garage and put it into the trash bin⁴. But on the way, we dropped it, spilling poopy water across the edge of the garage floor. We didn't have any bleach or cleaning supplies, so I had to leave it for later.

BUT THEN IT GOT WORSE:

Before I got back to mop up the poopy water in the garage, we entered a multi-week freezing period. The poopy water was now poopy ice, and I couldn't do anything about it. I put a sheet of plastic over it, and we just ignored the issue until everything thawed enough for me to clean it properly.

I am now able to look back and laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. But at the time, it was pure frustration. Having my father-in-law's problem-solving ability available was a godsend, because I was drowning in poopy-water-flavored despair.

What I didn't know was that this was only the beginning of a comedy of errors surrounding my pantry/utility closet...

(To be continued...)